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Friday, November 15, 2013

MS. RITA: Working to Fund My Dream

Friday, November 15, 2013
girl at window
My old friend Boo always knew how to cheer me up | Taken Jan. 2010

I had a feeling that the store might not do so well in the beginning. I didn't think it'd be going this poorly but I had a contingency plan in place if it came to be. Now it is time to put that plan to action and I've started searching for a part time job this week. Hopefully I find something with flexible hours or ideally night time hours so that I can still have time to work on bringing my store to where I'd like it to be. Just searching through the want ads is more than enough of a reminder to me of how much I want to work for myself. There are so many vague postings and so many scams it's a bit overwhelming. Especially since I don't live in a town where my degree would be useful to anyone except another retailer I find myself stuck in the very same place I was five years ago when I moved home. The idea of leaving again crossed my mind but for right now my place is here until I can be more established and financially stable again.

I'm okay with taking a job outside of my field of study. I've done it for the last four years and it's not so bad until that stifled feeling creeps up as it always does when you aren't doing the thing you are meant to do. This time though I want to stay closer to my roots if I can. And while I work for someone else I'll still pursue ways to bring income in on my own. Not just through the store but through other ventures such as writing books and developing sewing classes.

To be completely honest with you I'm so very tired. The insomnia is better but emotionally I'm drained. So many other things, not just the store, aren't going the way I thought they would or would have liked them to. Many times I feel as if there is no one I can talk to and that people have very little concern for where I am or how I'm feeling because they "know that I'll be all right". While they are most likely right and I do agree that eventually I'll be just fine, it still feels very lonely to be the only one who seems to care. Still, I press on. The best thing for me to do when I'm feeling like this is to create something. The project I'm working on for my friend's wedding is a much welcome distraction. It will help me to focus on something other than how miserable I've been lately and how alone I feel. Creating something that can put a smile on her face is so important to me and I want to make sure it's just right.

Until next time,

claire lynette

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