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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Of Course There Are Resolutions

Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Long before the streets became littered with dying/dead/used/spent Christmas trees, before the ball and red stick dropped, and long before there was a polar vortex whirring across the North America I wanted to write about the coming new year and the one we all were getting ready to leave behind us. Because of my focus elsewhere that hasn't happened until now. These are a few of my resolutions for the new year. Some are continuations of old ones that just are good to keep in mind.

1. Accept things and people as they are (especially myself)
My dad was great at this and perhaps he was so good at it because before I came along to witness his awesomeness he had a whole lifetime before me to perfect it. He would always tell me that it's much easier to change how I react to things than to change the thing I am reacting to whatever it may be. To meet people where they are and not where you wish they could be is a better way to live life. I can appreciate them for everything that they are right now: flaws, hopes, dreams; and learn and grow from that. It's wonderful when you can do that especially when you do it for yourself. I think doing this one thing as contributed to the constant serenity and happiness that I've been experiencing these past few months. It doesn't mean not to work on improving and doing my best to inspire that in others but it does mean not allowing myself or others to fall by the wayside in a pit of judgement. After all you can't judge a painting until it's finished and as far as I'm concerned we are all works in progress.

2. Let go of what has let go of me
I've lost friends this past year and each time it was incredibly hurtful and emotionally difficult as anyone can imagine it would be.  I've always been a deeply loyal and supportive friend and I am reluctant to let people leave my life too easily, but I've learned that if someone wants to be in yours they will act like it. Two were people that I thought would be in my life forever and the other a new relationship that started with great promise and happiness. One I had to show the exit after a nearly unforgivable betrayal, another let go of me for reasons I still don't comprehend but have learned to accept (the new relationship), and another cut me out of their life completely when I was honest with them about what I needed from their friendship. The best thing is that though I've lost these three I've gained many more and have  reconnected with old friends. Nothing can replace the good things I've had with those friends I've lost, but I am ever grateful for those I've made since.

3. Maintain patience
I don't pray to God often. I find that I don't need to. The tools he's given me already are far and a way more than sufficient to accomplish any goal set before me. I keep his guidance in mind as I go about my days and I believe he and I are both very cool with that. However, about six years ago I asked him to give me patience and he certainly did. I am much more patient now than I've ever been, but it's only because my patience has been tested more than it has ever been and because of my desire to be better I withstood the temptation to rush through things. Everyday I think my resolve grows deeper and deeper. I keep looking on the brightside and I do my best to accentuate the crap out of the positive. It works and it keeps me happy.

4. Create anyway
I started this blog years ago as a way for me to chronicle things I create, mostly in the name of fashion, but now I want to share all my little passion projects and pursuits.  Since I started Thorn & Laurel money has been tight and until I'm financially stable again it's difficult to buy materials. Though I have all the time I could ever want now to make things if I had the materials I needed. The irony slays me since before I had the money but not the time. Yet, there are some things I can do and I will share them here with you since I am saving a little here and there when I can. In the mean time I'll have to settle for creating things that are relatively free: writing stories, sketching, painting, photographing, and using up the materials I already have on hand. Embracing my need to create is something that I think will help me become better. I don't know in what way better, but just better all around perhaps.

Life is ever changing and that just may be one of the best things about it. I change. The people and places around me change too. Sometimes the changes are hard, like losing once very close friends, and sometimes the changes are good like discovering you have a knack for something you never considered before. I know there are no regular readers of my blog so it's more of a vanity project than anything else, but keeping it going despite my personal setbacks and inconsistent posting (The blog has been rebooted twice and redesigned several times. After years of blogging I'm only just now reaching 100 posts) helps me keep focus of the things I care about. I hope that there is something in your life like that for you. Something that helps keep your eye on the prize, whatever that prize may be, and helps you move forward. We can't ever go back so we must make the most of going forward.

I wish you a very, very happy New Year and I will see you in the next post.



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